People flew across country to attend. There was food like nothing seen before or since, and nowhere else: roast turkey, brisket, salads and potatoes and vegetables and gefilte fish and matzo ball soup and matzo meal pancakes and matzo kugel and macaroons afterwards, and those brightly colored kosher jelly candies that I could eat a whole box of right now.
There were aunts and uncles and cousins and my parents of course, and my sister and even invisible spirits like Elianovah or Elijah or Eliahu, depending on where in Russia or Poland your grandparents were from.
There was Manishewitz and Mogen David wine even if you were only 11 or 12, leading to the famous note my mother wrote when I was in the 7th grade: “Dear ----, Andrea did not do her homework last night because she got drunk at dinner and slid under the table, where she remained until this morning.”
And now, here it is again and I am alone. My husband’s in Philly on business, our son is in Burlington and most probably—no, most definitely--doesn't even know it’s Passover, and everyone who was anyone in that particular circle is dead. I will celebrate by having my dinner and watching reruns of “Everyone Loves Raymond” on TV.
Let's face it: The longer you live, the more ghosts surround you.
3 comments:
Beautifully written, evoking a time that won't ever come back. I spent this past Christmas entirely alone, after 61 years of being surrounded by family. Only my Zach called me, but I couldn't get over there because of snow and sickness. Sometimes ghosts can be a comforting presence, especially when we are alone. My dad is always just there -- behind the curtain, watching over me. Indulge in something that takes you back to those times. Get drunk on cheap wine if that helps.
Just knowing you read this and understand (I can't quite believe that you were alone on Christmas) makes me feel so much better...
Thanks for still being alive!
I'm still alive, although there were times, like on Christmas Day, among others, when I didn't want to be.
I realized with some astonishment that I am resisting change. Being liberal requires embracing change, but when it's change in MY life, I resist. It's not death I'm afraid of but what lies between now and then.
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