Thursday, August 30, 2007

Passing Middle Age

I am now old enough to take two different medications every day, both very popular with us "aging baby boomers"-- Lipitor for high cholesterol and something else for high blood pressure. I take these because my doctor says I should. Who knows, maybe the first pill is the reason I need the second pill. Regardless, I take them because, despite being "over the hill" and sliding down the other side, I feel good, look reasonable, and definitely want to stay alive for the time being.

Since I'm here, I suppose I should know what to do with myself, but I don't. My college-age son is always questioning the Meaning of Life, and I keep telling him there isn't one; if there were, we'd have heard all about it by now. It would be BREAKING NEWS on CNN, Greta would do a show on it, Larry King would interview the experts who discovered it, and all the magazines would have it on the cover. So let's assume that nobody knows.

But since I am fairly old already--I was at Woodstock--I have learned some truths, and I'm happy to share the ones I am sure of:

1. Most people are idiots.
2. Having a dog is not as much fun as it's cracked up to be, especially when your kids move away and you're stuck with it in your otherwise empty nest, and you'd love to drop everything and fly off to Greece for awhile but alas, no pet sitter, etc.
3. Smoking cigarettes is just plain dumb. (See #1.)
4. Running every day for twenty years really will destroy your joints eventually.
5. Saran Wrap is better than all the other similar products.
6. Friendships are optional, so don't hang out with people who treat you badly.
7. Everyone is good at something. Find out what that is and do it as much as possible.
8. Watching a movie is not really doing anything; it's just watching people pretend to do things. Yet, millions of people attend movies all the time, thinking they are actually doing something! This is moronic. (See #1.)
9. Do what it takes for you to enjoy today, without hurting someone else of course, and then do it again every other day.
10. Avoid surgery when possible
11. Floss daily.

So, that's all I got. After college, years of working at many jobs (42), two marriages, and raising a child, that's it. As for meaning, I believe my cousin Brian put it best, when talking about the origins of life: "First there was nothing, and then it blew up."

2 comments:

deneb said...

about #8. do you mean we should do that thing that makes us happy every other day, like monday, wednesday, friday? or every day other than the first one, which would be every day thereafter? If you mean alternate days, why? Why not every day?

Andrea Schamis said...

i think you mean #9