Personally I think picnics are highly overrated, as are antidepressants and, for that matter, husbands. There are always bugs, which is a drag when food is concerned unless you are a native of Thailand or Mozambique where they are considered a delicacy. Otherwise, all the ants and mosquitoes and bees and flies hovering overhead are a negative. Eventually one will swoop in and blatantly occupy your food. Trust me, bugs on your food is a bad situation wherein you must abandon the whole business and slowly back away, hungry, defeated and possibly already itchy.
Besides the bugs, which will ruin even the finest Merlot or Beaujolias by floating in your glass, weather is a constant concern: If it's hot it's likely too hot, if it's sunny you get sunburned, and if it's windy your napkins blow away. Rain is always possible, and that certainly dampens spirits. Worst case scenario: A tree could fall on you (see photo).
I say if you want to enjoy a meal, eat it in a place specifically designed for that purpose, like the couch in front of the 60" flat-screen plasma TV. If you absolutely must be uncomfortable outdoors in order to feel truly alive, like the people in those commercials for bladder control products, go camping.
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