Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Beyond Comprehension

I just watched a train wreck and I didn't even have to leave home to see it. It appeared in the form of a movie called "Beyond the Sea," which I passed on when it was playing in the theaters because I suspected it sucked, but rented on the strength of two strong endorsements. (Remind me next time never to doubt my instincts.)

The movie was a biopic of the life--and death-- of Bobby Darin, a truly great singer who I worshiped from afar as a teenager. He was a pop singer with tremendous talent who "crossed over" to win fans from all generations back in the 1960s. The tragedy was that he died at the age of 37 of a heart attack from an underlying heart disease. An even bigger tragedy is that this movie, written by Kevin Spacey and produced by Kevin Spacey, starred Kevin Spacey as Bobby Darin. Hey, Kevin Spacey passed 37 a long time ago, yet here he was trying to pass himself off as a 20-something heartthrob.

We got to see Kevin Spacey singing and Kevin Spacey dancing. (How embarrassing.) Oh, and Kevin Spacey acting, although you never for a minute bought that it was anyone but Kevin Spacey, certainly not Bobby Darin. In fact, I had to stop the movie halfway through and go watch some real Bobby Darin videos on YouTube to remember how cool and great he was. I finished the movie only to find out how he died, since I never really knew.

Long, boring fantasy dance numbers never made any sense. This was no "Thriller," which it was trying to be. It was also no "All That Jazz," a similar but million-times-better movie about dancer Bob Fosse that I might have to watch again just to get this bad movie out of my head. Making matters even worse, if that was possible, was a really obnoxious, unattractive and talentless child cast as the young Bobby Darin.

I'm sure you weren't planning to, but do not rent this movie. In fact, don't even watch it for free. It was such a mess that I ate almost a whole bag of Milanos, and I'm on a diet.

2 comments:

deneb said...

your photo of the cookies was way better than the whole movie. omg. I could eat a hundred of those.
I liked Bobby Darin too; the movie made him seem really narcississtic (are there really that many s's in that word?). I thought it was sad.

Andrea Rouda said...

I agree. But I thought the worst part was that Kevin Spacey had no rhythm--he couldn't even snap his fingers convincingly, so it was pretty hard to understand why all the teenage girls were screaming over him! Bobby Darin was not handsome, but he was so COOL and sort of dangerous....all in all, bad casting decision on the part of the director, Kevin Spacey!

I still can't be alone with cookies, which we bought for dinner guests last weekend (the bridge game). I should have thrown them down the garbage disposal....the OTHER one.