MJF Seeks BLJ's for a Good Time

I’m from New York, and let’s face it, that’s a tough act to follow. But the truth is, after living here one year, I guess I’m sort of sick of this place.

It’s too white. No soul. All the people wear L.L. Bean clothing, which if you’ve seen any you know lacks style, fits poorly, and what the hay, is all made in China anyway.

If Mainers were food, they’d be bologna on white bread. And not just any white bread, Wonder bread: soft, pasty, and with no flavor other than from the mayonnaise applied liberally at every opportunity. (In case you’re wondering, I can say whatever I want here since after more than a year, I have no Maine friends who read this blog, or maybe even who read.)

Maybe it's because they're too busy scraping barnacles off their boat bottoms to do any learning, but I don't think these folks are all that smart. Think about it: there has not been one president who hails from Maine. The best they’ve got is a few actors (TV, not movies), a couple of poets and Ed Muskie. Of course there’s Marsden Hartley (Marswho Whatley?), a great painter you probably never heard of unless you majored in art.

This might be a giant leap, and an obnoxious one at that (I said right up front I'm a New Yorker), but I think what they need here is a few hundred thousand blacks, some Latinos and maybe a couple more Jews. 

Any takers? It's very pretty.